Stick-on fake facial hair! So that you, too, can have a sexy Van Dyke beard and mutton-chop sideburns like this guy! (I have no idea what is up with the hair on top of his head, though; the way they've drawn it, it looks more like he's wearing a deflated basketball for a skullcap).
Anyway, here's the copy, in case it's not legible in my scan:
They then provide a listing of hair-color options, and a mailing address for "Masculiner Co." somewhere in New Jersey.
ENJOY AN EXCITING, ROMANTIC
QUICK CHANGE to suit your mood time:
Send for Mustache, Sideburns and Van Dyke at once! Simply check the color you want or send a sample of your hair and leave the matching to our expert. MAIL COUPON NOW!
Adheres securely ... off and on in seconds ... can be worn as is or trimmed to just the style you want.
Unfortunately, since the ad is actually from 1975, the company probably doesn't exist anymore, and even if it did the offer wouldn't still be valid. (It says that at the bottom of every ad page: "Facsimile advertisement, no longer valid.")
Heck, I might even get myself some stick-on '70s-style sideburns if I could find them for super cheap. They look fun.
(I have some teeny-tiny, baby sideburns of my own that I kind of wish were bigger and more noticeable. They are a shade or two darker than the rest of my hair.)